I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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