Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
