I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
