if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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