He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Randomize
