If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
