i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
