I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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