____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Congratulations! We have a period
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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