Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
