yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
