well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
