just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
