i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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