I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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