Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
