so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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