omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
