I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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