Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
