i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
