who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Who wears a wallet chain?!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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