She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
