btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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