do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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