normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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