Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
