I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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