Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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