A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
