Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
