this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
