Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
