Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize