I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
