drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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