come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
