I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize