right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
