yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
