If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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