Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
