yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
