i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize