guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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