I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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