i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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