yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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