I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
