You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
there was a trapeze. enough said
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
