you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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