nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
