Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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