Duck Duck Cougar?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
