I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
