clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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