No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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