My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
