theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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