he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize