how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
