You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
