I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
