And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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