She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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