'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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