During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How does one acquire holy water?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize