I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
