probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize