Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
