haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
