well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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