Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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